A Letter To The Author and Perfecter

Sometimes I just don't understand what you're doing. Well actually, most of the time I don't have any idea what you're doing. This season has been tough. I am irritable, fed up, quick tempered. I know that a lot of that is self inflicted. It's tough to not know. To think you're getting close, and only finding a locked door. So much time and money invested and feeling like I already missed my chance. That can't be true though. Not if you are sovereign. If you are working all things together, there must be some opportunity just around the corner. Rejection is disappointing but, there must be something happening in the process. I must be going through some type of preparation process. I read somewhere today that "feeling inadequate is a prerequisite to being used by God." I probably butchered that but I think JD Greer said it. Anyway, you know who said it and what it was exactly and how it resonated with me and why it resonated with me. You know me. I'm trusting that. You know the perfect place for me. You know the perfect place for these gifts you've given me, this passion inside of me. These strengths, these weaknesses, these fears, and this heart! You know! Help me to trust! Not knowing is hard, staying positive is hard, caring is hard, trusting is hard! You are sufficient! You always have been and you always will be! You will make a way! Here I am!